I’ve been totally MIA lately, but as you can see from the plethora of categories, it’s been a time. A month ago my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and it doesn’t look great. She’s receiving radiation now, and will be re-evaluated this week to determine where it is and what the chemo process is going to be. I can’t express feeling/emotion to my family because I have been “the rock” since childhood, so I’ve been holding in a lot and it’s honestly starting to fuck with my head. Ellie’s been MY rock through this, and I wish I could express how much that means to me, or let her in more.
Graduation was Friday, so I am officially an MS in College Student Development & Counseling. This also means I need a job ASAP because there are no more loans coming in and no more money in my Assistantship stipend. I also feel compelled to be the proper little housewife for the duration of my unemployment, but the feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed make it hard to become motivated.
A week ago, President Obama announced the death of Osama Bin Laden. Although it’s been over a week, I still wanted to record my thoughts for posterity. I’m happy that justice has been served, but am saddened by the fact that so many people are expressing JOY at a person’s death, like we’ve just won the World Series after 86 years. I feel it was disrespectful to all of the victims of his rein of terror and hate. I also fear it will fuel his followers into carrying on his mission. I honestly don’t think this will change much, if anything when it comes to terrorism around the globe. Pessimistic outlook to have, but true.
I’m off to do some housework and then, hopefully, send out a couple more job applications. We’ll see how that goes.
Yesterday, we had an event for our tutors, and wound up with leftovers. As we were discussing departments to bring extra pizzas to, Facilities was suggested. A couple of my colleagues got disgusted looks on their faces and denied the suggestion without room for debate because “the first floor bathroom is disgusting, Facilities are terrible.” When reminded of the fact that Facilities probably included more than just the janitorial staff, they remained adamant.
As I’ve thought about this conversation over the last almost 24-hours, I’ve become really upset about this. Something I’ve always been taught is that you treat the people that clean your bathrooms and throw away your trash VERY well. At Brandeis, we always gave our main janitor a gift at the holidays, saved him pieces of office birthday cakes, etc. It made him happy and he treated us well–offering extra space heaters when he found them, telling us about good furniture that was being replaced, etc. Mutually beneficial.
it’s difficult for us to know the people responsible for cleaning the bathrooms here, but I feel my colleagues need to be reminded that the janitorial staff has other responsibilities than the one women’s room that is on the main floor of the entire school, right next to the two major student areas for the whole school. I just feel that my colleagues are being too harsh. The bathroom isn’t great because there’s ALWAYS someone using it–frequently used bathrooms get messy, it’s the nature of the beast. It’s virtually impossible to keep a public bathroom sanitary and neat, but don’t blame the staff for this unless they aren’t actually doing their job, and they are.
I’m officially done with graduate school. I still have a week of my Graduate Assistantship left, but it’s not actually part of my education–it’s more like a Work Study job, only without the financial need requirement. Graduation is May 6, and I have a couple of events left, but they are basically just fun events with my cohort.
It’s surreal thinking that I’m done with graduate school. I now have to get my ass in gear and start applying for jobs because I am BROKE. The idea of applying for and getting a job is stressful as hell, and I know that stress leads me to shut down, which is very bad. I just have to set goals for myself and make sure I apply to at least one job every day during the week and I will feel like I I’m making progress.
I’m tired, and am not in the best place mentally for myriad reasons, none of which I have any interest in discussing with anyone, let alone the random public that may or may not read my blog. Not that I don’t consider many of you to be actual friends, but I just don’t have the energy, know what I mean?