No, I’m Not Going After Her

The actress left the Southern California house she shares with James just days before a report of infidelity by her husband surfaced, a source tells PEOPLE.

Yes, I have a total crush on Sandra Bullock, but no, I am not leaving Ellie to throw myself at her feet and convince her that, because I have the same name as her probably soon-to-be-ex husband, we are a match made in heaven.

Event the temptation of her newly-won Oscar is not as bright as one would think–that kind of stuff just sits around gathering dust. Yes, she has enough money to hire someone else to dust her awards, but it’s still a pain in the ass to deal with. Plus, she’s a actress–I’d spend the rest of my life having to watch her play kissy-face with guys in all of her movies, and I just couldn’t handle that.

So, I will continue to love her from afar. Maybe if she were to retire permanently from acting…but honestly, I’d have to be in a situation where Ellie left me or something.

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