The other day, Ellie and I were chatting, and she said something about how “You prayed to Cupid and He gave me to you.” Of course, the silly pagan in me thought of the fact that we met via the site OKCupid, and the commonly-known Greek Eros, the god of love, who was conflated with the Roman Cupid.
I realize that not all of our lives are influenced by the gods, but I have come to realize it’s important to give Them honor when you think They have given you a blessing, just in case.
I started this post almost 2 months ago…wow do I suck at blogging.
The other night, our roommate saw us looking through real estate books, and got nervous we were going to buy a house soon and she’d need to find a place to live. I had mixed feelings about this because it made me feel good that she wasn’t planning to leave anytime in the near future (we can’t afford this apartment on our own), but it also made me feel bad because I do hope we’re able to buy a house sometime after we’re married–I’m thinking a year or so–so we can save up some kind of down payment after all the wedding expenses are taken care of.
Our distant timeline doesn’t stop us from looking–it helps us get an idea of what we each like, what’s available in our price range, etc. Also, staying here allows me to more easily commute to work, avoiding traffic, finding (and paying for) parking in a garage. Not to mention the fact that living here means we don’t have to pay for things like a new stove, and can pay rent and utilities for less than what we’d probably be paying for a mortgage. It’s also really expensive and a pain in the ass to move, and I want to do it as few times as possible. Ideally, this means living in our current apartment until the stars align and we’re able to buy a house.
I never understood people who only look at a few houses and pick one that doesn’t seem to actually fit who they are–either too much or too little house/yard/etc, or it needs so much work they are constantly making the place into their “dream home” when the dream home could have been a closer & easier reality (some people are into that and kudos to them, but know that when you’re looking). There are some things Ellie and I want that CAN be done after the fact–a deck or permanent fire pit or a privacy fence. But there are also many things we know will be deal-breakers: a 2nd floor with too much of a pitch to be comfortable when standing, under a 1/2 acre of land, or a street that’s so busy all the time we have trouble pulling onto it.
This is why we look at real estate magazines, and have recently started using online sites to look at more houses. Ellie drove by an interesting house once, and we always turn to look when we see a “For Sale” sign. But we’ve yet to speak with an agent or someone at the bank knowing that we are still in “wishful thinking” mode. It actually makes me feel good to look at these houses and know that someday one of them will be my home; that I can look without commitment for a little while longer.
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One year ago today, Ellie asked me to marry her. Since then, it’s been a crazy year–a study abroad to England, two grad positions on top of classes, graduation, applying to jobs, mom getting sick (I’m sure I’m forgetting something).
Some’s been good, some’s been pretty shitty, but overall, I’m happy. And most of that has to do with the fact that Ellie’s in my life. She’s been a rock during a pretty difficult time and I think she’s the major reason I’m not either completely shut down, applying for jobs that I’m over-qualified for, or in a constant state of panic. None of this has to do directly with the proposal, but being engaged to her adds to the level of happiness I’m able to maintain.
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I’ve been totally MIA lately, but as you can see from the plethora of categories, it’s been a time. A month ago my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and it doesn’t look great. She’s receiving radiation now, and will be re-evaluated this week to determine where it is and what the chemo process is going to be. I can’t express feeling/emotion to my family because I have been “the rock” since childhood, so I’ve been holding in a lot and it’s honestly starting to fuck with my head. Ellie’s been MY rock through this, and I wish I could express how much that means to me, or let her in more.
Graduation was Friday, so I am officially an MS in College Student Development & Counseling. This also means I need a job ASAP because there are no more loans coming in and no more money in my Assistantship stipend. I also feel compelled to be the proper little housewife for the duration of my unemployment, but the feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed make it hard to become motivated.
A week ago, President Obama announced the death of Osama Bin Laden. Although it’s been over a week, I still wanted to record my thoughts for posterity. I’m happy that justice has been served, but am saddened by the fact that so many people are expressing JOY at a person’s death, like we’ve just won the World Series after 86 years. I feel it was disrespectful to all of the victims of his rein of terror and hate. I also fear it will fuel his followers into carrying on his mission. I honestly don’t think this will change much, if anything when it comes to terrorism around the globe. Pessimistic outlook to have, but true.
I’m off to do some housework and then, hopefully, send out a couple more job applications. We’ll see how that goes.
I’m not ignoring this blog, I promise. The problem is that I have been feeling stressed lately, and we’ve been looking at wedding venues (two separate links!), which is making me get really antsy about the wedding. Plus I’m going to NYC this weekend for shiggles and dress searching with my MoH’s (not planning to buy, especially in NYC, but it’s an excuse to get away for a couple days and have some fun). Thus I’m pretty exclusively blogging at the wedding site. Not to mention the fact that, other than the wedding, my life is pretty damn boring lately.
WIT is super dull–it’s the height of the year in Operations because of Housing Selection, yet I’ve still been given nothing to do.
MCPHS is better, but it’s still pretty slow until after warnings go out and I can finally start meeting with students that are academically at-risk (ooo, that’s a good phrase to put in my resume!)
Classes are pretty average; not a lot of work, but I do have a project in a couple weeks that I need to get the reading done for so I can get together with my partner and plan. I am so absolutely done with this semester it’s not even funny. Just get me out and into a job!
And I still have to work on my presentation for the True Colors Conference, which I’ll do after we get back from our trip to NJ next week.